The softer side of cynical

Assignment

2011-12-22T00:22:00.002-07:00

I wrote a letter to myself as an assignment for a class. It was pretty broad but I knew exactly what I wanted to write about as soon as the assignment was given. I won't share the whole thing here but I want to share a bit of it and for a reason.

Bri has this annoying little habit of reading me all of the shocking or depressing news going on in Boise and it sounds something like this, "Whoa! These people...bla bla bla....dead hooker and coke." I never read that stuff and not because I'm not interested in the news (I am) but it seems more like tabloid fodder and less like news. So today...After the 5th crazy news story Bri looked up and said, "It seems like between Thanksgiving and like right after Valentine's Day people are just crazy." I say "Bla bla bla..statistically..bla bla...making shit up...yeah. Holidays are prime crazy time."

Huge slightly irrelevant story and now to the point: The Holidays are prime crazy time and not just for people who like to kill hookers and do coke. It's crazy time for a lot of people. I am on large amounts of drugs to curb my crazy and December still makes me nuts. December made me sad today. Really sad. Because I thought about those crazy people and how a lot of us are on the verge of doing something really stupid to dull the pain/feel the pain/make someone else feel the pain. No, I'm not going on a tri-state killing spree but I do know what it's like to feel so desperate that you do things that are downright INSANE!

Ok. Stop me. Here's the letter. I think it speaks for itself.

A letter to myself on my 25th birthday. April 10, 2006

Dear Sarah,

I know that you are so sad right now. I know that you feel really desperate. You envisioned things for your life that were exciting and adventurous. You envisioned a relationship that fulfilled you in beautiful, meaningful ways. I know that you are going to go out in the backyard when the kids are napping and scream at the top of your lungs. It will only make you feel worse. I know that you sometimes feel so depressed that you can’t even lift your arms to put the dishes away. I know that when he gets home you will walk into the bedroom, crawl into bed and stay there until he calls you in to kiss the kids good night. You will go back to bed and lie there until he comes in. When he does, you will silently cry. You will move further away and just wish that he would reach out to you and tell you that he loves you. He won’t.
Tomorrow, the day after your 25th birthday, something will happen that you think is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Later you will make the biggest mistake of your life. It will not make you feel better. Not that day, not ever, and it will end your life as you know it. You will begin to blame your husband for the depression you feel. You won’t reach out to him and he won’t reach out to you. You won’t tell anyone. You won’t get help. Even when it gets so bad that you can’t get dressed anymore. You will live silently. Raging.

There is just one thing that you can do, right now.

On the day of your 25th birthday you can stop what hasn’t started.

Please do exactly what I tell you to do: Get up. Put the kids in the car and drive to your parents’ house. Go inside and find your mom. Ask her to watch the kids for a little while. She will do it. If she asks you why, you tell her that you are going to get help before you can’t go back. She will understand. She has seen this coming for a long time. Drive to your husband’s shop and go up to his office. Sit across from him and look in his eyes. Please don’t look away. He has to know how serious you are.
Say this, “I love you. I want to have a relationship with you. Right now I am so depressed that I’m scared for my life.”

He will tell you that he loves you. He does want to be with you. He will cry when he says it.
Leave his office and go to your doctor. Even if you have to go to the emergency room. DO NOT let this go on for one more day. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! You are not being dramatic! Get help now!

Dr. Jones will send you to Jennie and you will spend the next 6 weeks in therapy everyday. You will get medicine that pulls you out of that dark void. You will start to see the real light at the end of the tunnel.
Your husband will go with you sometimes. It will be hard. You have to say what you feel. You have to lay yourself open and tell him how scared you are. You have to ask the hard questions and listen to the answers. When he disappoints you (he will) do not quit. Please be vulnerable. PLEASE! Tell the truth. Tell him that you have been terrified since the day you told him you were pregnant with Olivia. Tell him that you feel invisible. Please tell him that you love him. Don’t start a fight to cover up how you feel. Don’t be tough.

I don’t know what will happen after this. If you do what I told you to do then the future is a mystery. An unguarded one. A truthful one.

But I do know what happens if you don’t.

Your husband will find out. You will finally go to Dr. Jones and Jennie but it will be too late. If you thought what you were going through was hell, you were sadly mistaken. What happens next is the real inferno. You will spend a year fighting and crying and begging. You will beg him to come back. He won’t. You will tell him that you love him. It doesn’t matter anymore. You will lie in bed at night (in your parents’ house because you don’t have one anymore) and you will torture yourself with your mistakes. Your girls will cry to “come home” and they mean the place where both their mom and dad live. It doesn’t exist anymore.

When he finally gets a beautiful, blonde and thin girlfriend and introduces your kids to her you will wish you were dead. When you meet her you will wish she were dead. You will endlessly compare yourself to her.

You will finally give up. You will finally begin the grueling process of divorce. It will start out amicable. You’ll have long talks about what each of you need. You’ll be hopeful that your kids will be ok. You’ll move into a cute rental in the north end and feel like you may survive this after all.

He will fire you. It will not be so amicable anymore. You will have to fight to keep any shred of the life you once had. You will shelter your kids from the fighting. You will shelter them from your desperation. You will spend hours at the attorney’s office. You will spend hours going through mountains of papers. You will go back and forth between walking away and fighting with all you have. You will have to sell your car to pay your lawyer half of what you owe her. In the end (2 years after the day he found out) you’ll choose some stupid halfway point on the scale of walking and fighting and you will have to start your life over. This will cost you 10,000 dollars in attorney fees alone and you will have NOTHING.

This is not the path you should choose.
I know that today, on your 25th birthday, you feel like it is his fault. You feel like the only answer is to run away. It isn’t the answer. Only you can fix this. Stop right now.
It is possible to not feel the way you do today. Please get help.

With only the love that you can give yourself,

Your 30-year-old self

I'm a Crafty Bitch!

2011-11-20T20:15:00.004-07:00

A Batman cape for Chance

Leaf and Bow Cuffs for a sweet co-worker

A garland for my tree!

Upcycled Sweater for Dagmar

Scarflet for a sweet nurse.

Upcycled sweater for Leah

Bri and I were crazy crafters all day yesterday and today. It was Bri's first foray into sewing and she did some hard stuff! Bias tape, buttonholes, cuffs! She was determined and her stuff turned out so cute!

More to come next week!

Gardening Into Winter

2011-10-19T10:57:00.003-06:00

Even though we are wrapping up the last of the summer garden I am still gardening in my head! We are thinking, planning and preparing for next spring:

>We have plans to make a little grow house and canning kitchen in the big shed.

>Maybe when we get a little tougher and stop crying over dead chickens we will add a meat chicken chicken coop for those temporary ones. The more I learn about industrial food proccesses I get less icked out about raising our own meat.

>There are still brussell sprouts, kale and onions out in the garden. They like the cold weather.

>There are fall greens that Bri planted about a month ago. Yum!

>Up until a few days ago our tomatoes were still flowering and producing more tomatoes! Crazy weather.

>We are composting everything we can get our hands on to amend the soil for a small orchard where there used to be a gravel driveway.

>Fence designs are being researched

>Flower catalogs are being drooled on

Happy Autumn Everyone!

I have a little somethin' happenin'

2011-10-16T21:34:00.001-06:00

This is my basement about a week ago

Keeps Me Moving

2011-10-14T12:20:00.004-06:00

This helps me remember that it could never be fixed:

What kills love? Only this: Neglect. Not to see you when you stand before me. Not to think of you in the little things. Not to make the road wide for you, the table spread for you. To choose you out of habit, not desire, to pass the flower seller without a thought. To leave the dishes unwashed, the bed unmade, to ignore you in the mornings, make use of you at night. To crave another while pecking your cheek. To say your name without hearing it, to assume it is mine to call.

-Jeannette Winterson. Written On the Body.

This helps me remember that it's been worth it:

The minute you begin to do what you really want to do, it's really a different kind of life.

-R. Buckminster Fuller

This makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy:

Sissy,

Dad and I are so proud of you.

Love, Mom

-Pam O'Dell (my mom)

And this speaks for itself:

98/100 A :)

-Christine Moore (one of my professors)

This Kid Is Funny

2011-10-07T13:55:00.003-06:00

A father writes about the mother of his children

2011-09-08T14:16:00.002-06:00

"Her mind holds the tiny bits of every day life that weave the very fabric of our beings. In a world so large and often daunting we have her. And she has us. She gives with all her might but is never afraid to lean back. To collapse and fail and weep and let in the sadness. We see all of her and through that act of bravery we show our selves in return."

Steve Soule

Someone tell me how it can be done

2011-08-30T17:43:00.002-06:00

Changed up the bloggies over there to reflect what I'm actually reading right now. ------>

I know it doesn't matter to y'all but I go to my blog to read blogs.

I have some tidbits that I would like you to know but I can't form them into a coherent blog post because the part of my brain that writes has retired for the day. I, very stupidly, wrote a paper an hour before it was due and therefore fried my brain (and produced an absolute crap essay).

* My babies started school on Monday and they are now in 1st and 2nd grade. I horned in on their first day of school even though it was officially a dad day. There was NO WAY IN HELL that I was going to let that day pass me by. I met them at school, took the required first day of school photos and helped them get settled. I cried a bit too but don't tell because I'm supposed to be a veteran at this.

* Very inconveniently I started school last Monday. Not the teaching kind but the student kind. Yep. Full time student right here. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking but I did it. I don't even have a job! But it's working and I love it. If I could just remember that I'm 30, not 18, that would help with the frying of the brain thing.

*Another very inconvenient thing: I realized that I still have that pesky job of mother. Not only to my beautiful little girlies (hard enough) but to the chickens, the garden and the house. (And Stella, the cat and the goldfish) The problem being that I would much rather be the girl/chicken/garden/house mama than be spending all of my time at school. Don't get me wrong. I am all for a college education but I often sit at school and wonder, "How the hell am I going to turn all of this into the ability to do the job I really want to do?" I don't really want to be a teacher. I don't really want to be a lawyer. I just want to be the person that I am already but be able to make a living doing it!

Suggestions? Hello? Tap, tap.

I know that it is a measly two years (been doing this college thing off and on for a while) of the many years that I have ahead of me but I feel like this beautiful time in my children's lives is slipping away too easily. There are days that I want to go get them from school, take them home, make cookies and begin our lives. The real ones. The ones where we can spend our days outside with the chickens and tomatoes and flowers. Where we can learn what we want to learn and do it in a way that enriches our lives everyday. Where we can spend an entire day sitting around reading, snuggling Stella, eating raspberries and still learn as much as we would have spending all day at school.

(Oh gawd. I'm ranting and sound like a damn hippie. Someone get me some sleep!)

The summary of my life today after a horrible dream, a shitty morning at school and really missing my babies. I think I will take a nap and try again. Optimism is on the horizon!

New-ness-ish

2011-06-28T01:13:00.004-06:00

**I love adding "-ish" to the end of words. I think it really fits my personality. I'm a grey person. Not a lot of black or white in my life, no siree.

Some examples:

"Hmmm. I'd say that it's pink-ish" or "It's been ten years-ish".

**I love Post Secret and even thought I've read thousands of secrets over the last couple years, many sad, thought provoking, deep dark secrets. Many funny secrets. There is one that remains my favorite:

"When people add "-ass" to the end of a word I mentally move the hyphen one word over"

**I added some new blogs over there ------> Check em out! Also check me out on Pinterest.

In Other News

2011-06-16T10:43:00.002-06:00

**There are some truly beautiful and inspiring thoughts on motherhood over at Soule Mama.

I am feeling particularly inspired by these words:

With joy comes sorrow, with sorrow comes joy – and the cycle continues. The yin and yang of mothering, if you will. So many of us have lost babies, had a child with medical challenges, social or learning difficulties, or have worried about a child for various reasons. Often, we don't talk about it. Sometimes we don't talk about it because it's too painful, or we fear that, in reaching out, we will find ourselves alone. But we also don't talk about it because, eventually, we heal. Life becomes livable again. We become comfortable with our “new normal.”
As mamas, we are never alone in joy, and we are never alone in sorrow. Behind the scenes, we are all the same. Some of us, at any given time, feel like things will never get better. And then things do get better. We mamas befriend each other and reach out with understanding, and a clear message: it will get better. You will belly laugh again. We get by with a little help, and reassurance, from our fellow mamas.

From Meg at sew liberated

**We have harvested lettuce (3 times). 8 strawberries. And some planted and forgotten radishes! They are beautiful!

**The chickens are doing so well! They are huge and funny. My chicken, Janet, has the cutest grown up chicken sound and she saves it just for me.

**My house is slowly and surely coming together. Planning a few gatherings here and there helps me stay motivated to keep working. There is always a burst of project finishing right before.

**It's summer break around here and so far it has been so lovely and not too hot. I know that it will be scorching hot before we know it so for now we are enjoying being outside. Next up: Hours at grandma and grandpa's pool.

Wrestling

2011-05-10T16:03:00.003-06:00

My Mother's Day was at once perfect and flawed. It was perfect in that I lazed around, had breakfast with some beautiful girls and a leisurely stroll through the garden store.

It was flawed in that no excited children woke me up way too early, those beautiful girls were not my children and that leisurely stroll was strangely lonely.

I think Sunday embodied my difficult relationship with "joint legal and physical custody".

I am a better Mother today than I ever was when I was a wife/mother/maid/nanny/housekeeper. When I was weighed down by the day in and day out monotony. When I isolated myself from the rest of the world. When every move I made was tinged by the guilt of not financially supporting my family. When my contribution was made to feel like nothing.

Today I have dreams. Goals. Hope. I feel known. Heard. Loved.

Yet...I can barely stand the loss of knowledge. Constant contact. Oversight for every single thing that happens in their precious young lives. I worked so hard to do things right. To help them become successful human beings. To live their childhood so fully and beautifully. And now they spend 5 out of 10 days without me. And I wonder. What do they do? Think? Feel? Are they scared? Do they miss me? Are they happy? Are they learning those life lessons that I so desperately want them to?

I ran across an article that I loved because it made me laugh but somehow explained what I needed to embrace.

Yes it is hard to not know. But in the long run I am setting an example of how a woman should live her life.

A Mother's Prayer For Her Child by Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.”

-Tina Fey

I'm Ruined!

2011-04-01T12:15:00.009-06:00

About 2 weeks ago I squished my camera between my huge ass and the floor and broke the screen. I pulled it out a few days ago to take some after photos of my house and realized that it doesn't have the hole thing-y to look through! No damn viewfinder on a camera? What the hell?

I decided to try my hand at taking a picture on the fly without a screen or an eye hole thing-y and guess what? I'm an idiot. I am sure that my inability to do a puzzle, estimate size and distance, play the Memory game and take a flippin' picture are all related to a missing piece of my brain. Something to do with spatial relationships and hand eye coordination. D'oh!

Attempt at chicken picture:

If you look closely you can see a tiny bit of chicken head on the bottom left.

Several attempts later. A blurry and poopy (literally) shot:

Homeowner Update

2011-03-26T08:22:00.002-06:00

The Dead Acorn provided us with a gripping account of the goings-on around here. There is a fish head and some "blood" involved. Consider yourself warned.

Since I'm knee deep in chicken poop I'll leave it at that for a day or two while I take some after pictures.

2011-03-22T18:23:00.001-06:00

We planted strawberries today and tomorrow we are getting our chicks! Just call me Mother Earth!

2011-03-15T23:28:00.001-06:00

Stepped on a RAILROAD SPIKE today. Owww! It hurts real real bad.

I'm not sure what this means

2011-02-20T18:34:00.005-07:00

Me: Jamie, you are hilarious.

Jamie: You can't use that word in this family.

Me: What? Hilarious?

Jamie: Yeah. You can't say 'hilarious' in a Mexican family.

Me: What?

Jamie: Yeah. We live in Mexico and you can't say 'hilarious' in a Mexican family.

Sneak Peek

2011-02-05T08:40:00.004-07:00

Wanna See Somethin'?

2011-01-29T09:42:00.002-07:00

I don't want to jinx it by talking about it before it's a done deal but lets just say...I didn't even giggle and they believed I was earnest.

Today I Am

2011-01-24T13:32:00.002-07:00

*wanting a fun home improvement project to occupy my time. One can only organize closets so much.

*loving the weekend I just had. Sunshine, bikes, rock 'n' roll, dirt and grass and plenty of jammie time.

*wondering how to teach my kids about money

*thinking I better grab a book on that subject. Recommendations?

*feeling so incredibly grateful for my mom and dad

*enjoying the possibilities. Chickens anyone?

*smiling at how funny my little monkeys are

*rejoicing in their ability to play together and be kind to each other (mostly)

*planning some mid century modern home decor

*wishing someone had told me not to close that store credit card 10 years ago. I could use that 6 point bump

This Kid Is Funny

2011-01-23T10:34:00.002-07:00

Olivia (holding out a Polly Pocket): Mom will you put this dress on her?

Me: Yeah. Did you ever notice that when you first get them their clothes are easy to put on?

Olivia: Yeah but they get older and...

Jamie: They get fatter

A Late Night Conversation

2011-01-08T07:59:00.002-07:00

Jamie: Mom, would you want to meet Dora?

Me: I don't think so, honey.

Jamie: What if she didn't have that fat head?

Me: Well...

Jamie: Yeah. It is kind of weird. It's shaped like an oval. I don't really like Diego but he does have a regular shaped head. It's fat though.

Me: True.

Jamie: I really like his sister. Alicia. She has a normal head and long pretty hair.

Sarah: Oh. I guess I don't know who that is.

Jamie: Do you know Boots?

Me: No. Who is that?

Jamie: Dora's monkey. Would you want to meet him? Probably not. Monkeys are creepy.

Did you know?

2011-01-04T19:33:00.004-07:00

Kate Pierson owns a hotel! Scratch that. A MOTEL.

I really want to go there.

And here.

Then here.

Anyone in?

Do you remember the purple lady at the library! ?

2011-01-03T00:32:00.003-07:00

Do you remember her? I loved her when I was a kid. Ok, actually I was terrified of her but I admired her gusto!

That is who I felt like today when I realized I'd dressed in mostly purple. I gave myself a little pat on the back when I noticed that my wool ski socks (also purple) were poking out of the top of my boots. Bonus! All purple and dorky. But in that cool, endearing way. Just my style!

Speaking of cool, endearing and dorky: Notice my resolution? You guessed it! Blog! I've thought about why I don't blog much anymore and despite all the complicated bla bla crap-ola, mostly I'm just lazy. Too lazy to think up a witty and interesting tidbit for my adoring audience. How rude of me!

So I've devised an elaborate plan that involves themes, rewards, timers, index cards, dancing bunnies, lists, photos, etc, etc and it will all result in......drumroll........ a blog post here and there.

I like it. I like having one silly goal that involves list making (I'm sick) and index cards (even sicker) and timers (oh God, don't tell my mom) and all for the sake of a blog post here and there.

HEY!! It's what's on the inside that counts! Sheesh!

2011

2011-01-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

"Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed," said writer Irene Peter. That should be cautionary advice for you in 2011, Aries. From what I can tell, it will be relatively easy for you to rearrange the way things look, but trickier to transform them from the inside out. You will have to be vigilant to keep from getting swept up in the giddiness of big talk at the expense of practical action. You'll have to push hard to make sure that seductive ideas are translated into concrete details. Can you do it? I think you can.

2011-01-02T09:41:00.001-07:00

Test

This weekend

2010-10-26T07:53:00.002-06:00

My sister-in-law, Robyn, wrote a beautiful post on her blog about our mother-in-law who passed away last week:

http://robynjt.blogspot.com/2010/10/pam-rogers-1944-2010.html

First Day of School

2010-10-03T12:14:00.003-06:00

Owie Back = Productivity

2010-03-14T18:54:00.005-06:00

My mom's ADORABLE notebook cover!
Pillow for my couch made from clearance placemats

Plastic bag tube. A classic that I don't have.

Pillow for my couch. Target Pillow cover with leaves I appliqued on. The leaves are from fabric that will soon be a slipcover for a red chair.

Travel jewelry case.

I keep seeing these in stores and made by other people but I couldn't bring myself to buy one because I only wear earrings and all the ones I had seen had pockets for bracelets and necklaces.
Ta-Da! Custom!

And the fancy stitches on my mom's sewing machine are ADDICTIVE!

Pouch for Kelsey to throw in her purse for Pyper's diapers.

Napkins for my house. Love this fabric!

Eclectic Dinner

2010-03-08T19:14:00.003-07:00

This is what happens when you have an afternoon off work.

Tomato Basil Pizza, Apple Fritters and Lobster Wontons with Plum Sauce.

The Fine Art of Playdough Making

2010-03-05T12:16:00.003-07:00

"Chance! Watch! This is called 'leveling off'"

"Now you try"

"This is called 'pouring'"

"And you stir like this"

"You try. I'll hold the bowl. Not too WILD!"

(Actual conversation)

Re-Cap

2009-12-29T11:37:00.003-07:00

Wow! Almost 4 months since my last post! Wow!

I decided that I need to start blogging again for a few reasons but the big one being that I realized when I blog more frequently I keep a better record of my girls' lives (and mine too).

Quick run down for catch up purposes:

1) My face is better! Just a few minor, hardly noticeable, scars. Thank you Dr. Tubach.
It hurts when it's super cold outside. Weird.

2) We closed on our house on October 21st. Congratulations to Tiffany, the proud first time homeowner. I hope she loves it. I had a sad break down moment when I wiped the kitchen counter for the last time. Weird.

3) I moved into a new house that I'm renting with my brother. It's gorgeous, close to school and the shop and we are doing well living together. He's nice, tidy and fun too!

4) Jimmy and I are separated. Answers to your questions: Yes I am sad. No I am not miserable. Neither is he. It's the hardest, most emotional thing that has ever happened to either of us. We tried. We tried really, really hard. It is not ugly or bitter and you will never catch me saying anything bad about him (or him about me). He is a wonderful father, a good friend to me now, and he did a damn good job of dealing with a situation that wasn't ideal for either of us. For 7 years. We are both at fault and we are trying our hardest to provide the same loving family for our girls in spite of everything. We are working out money and kids and all the stuff we have to work out just fine. I love his family, he loves my family and they love us right back. The end.

5) I'm teaching the all day preschool at The Children's School. I love it and I love my co-teachers! I also teach the toddler class on Monday morning. Ditto on the love!

6) I still do the bookkeeping for the shop but now I do it from home. Very nice.

7) Olivia turned 6 in November and Jamie turned 5 in December. WOW!

8) Harvey died in August. (Jimmy's dog) We think he was darn near 20 years old. My little brother buried him overlooking Ann Morrison Park so he could be near fireworks. That baby brother of mine is a softie.

9) My dad's brother died a couple weeks later. He was one of the funniest people that I know. He made beautiful things and gave them to people (like me) that love beautiful things. (He was also a secret softie like Joe).

I think that sums up my life since July. Phew! Glad I got all that out of the way. See you soon blog readers!

First Day Of School

2009-09-08T10:43:00.002-06:00

This cracks me up! That face is sooo Jamie. She wanted NOTHING to do with having her picture taken and she was mad at me for some imaginary thing I did to her. The kid makes up reasons to be pissed.

Olivia was trying not to act too excited because she is a big kid and big kids never act uncool but she was really happy to be a prime!

not for the squeamish

2009-07-14T00:05:00.003-06:00

In the Emergency Room..

Number 6

2009-07-06T13:38:00.003-06:00

CHECK!

Thanks to all the time spent in bed I completed number 6 on my list. Woo!

#6 is "Listen to all the episodes of This American Life that I have stored on my ipod".

Finally!

2009-07-04T13:49:00.004-06:00

Our house is finally on the market! Woo!

Craigslist Ad

I know I promised a picture of the summer digs two weeks ago but shortly after that post I had a little accident and have been in a narcotic induced coma (with a little facial reconstruction surgery thrown in for good measure) over the past two weeks.

So..drumroll...new summer home...

And that brings the count at my mom and dad's house to 10! Warren upstairs in his Waldorf suite, Joe and Kels are our neighbors in the apartment attached to the garage and we are camped out in the tent trailer, sharing a little yard with them.

I have to say that in light of my recent need of drugs and ice at all hours of the day/night that I'm actually really glad that we are here. Someone is always here to check up on me (no one has a real job). I've been sleeping in my mom's bed because she sleeps like a wrapped mummy so there is no fear of being whacked in the face in the middle of the night and she doesn't grumble when I need more drugs at 3am. She's a good nurse, that one.

Everyone has been doing their best to keep me entertained. When I couldn't read or watch TV Warren set me up with some podcasts and last night we had a movie outside on the back lawn. My mom is doing her best today to make it seem like we're having a 4th of July party. (Even though no one is coming over and there are no fireworks. hehe)

I don't know how long we'll be camped out here. Hopefully our house sells quickly and the we'll go from there...

Who knows what will happen then?!

Speedy Catch Up

2009-06-22T14:56:00.003-06:00

I guess these photos are reversed so it's kind of a rewind to the last day of school.

Went camping last weekend with the whole family (minus Jimmy).
Custom walking sticks by Joe!

My mom, Warren and I waved goodbye and went back to our reading, Sudoku and drinking. Respectively.)
Shoshone Ice Caves. If anyone cares: Lame and expensive (of course) and the lady at the gas station gives bad directions but you might not mind since in our case it scored us another night of camping.

Camping at Miracle Hot Springs over Memorial Day weekend = Hagerman Fossil Days.

Cool lame small town parade, terrible Bluegrass by some REALLY old people, yummy fair-like food, terrifying rollercoaster, ducks on a leash, cotton candy...it was a good weekend.

AWWWW...last day of school! We love you Taira, Lisa, Mary and Sherri! We miss you!

My summer so far!

I have a really great picture for tomorrow. Our new summer home. For those of you who don't know...I think you'll be very entertained.

It's In The Air

2009-05-19T19:18:00.004-06:00

DISCLAIMER:

Megan: I must be PMS-ing. I totally lost it when I came home today.

Me: Me too. I'm making Rice Krispie treats, listening to some sad music and drinking PBR (from a can).

Megan: Rice Krispie treats sound sooo good right now.

Over the last few months I've been making plans for summer. Plans to make a bunch o money, basically. However, one day very recently I had an epiphany!

This is the last time that Olivia won't be in school all day, everyday for the REST OF HER LIFE!!! Oh geez. I just started crying! Where did the time go? What the hell happened to the first day of school three years ago?! I remember it like it was yesterday! Damn those people that told me, "It'll just fly by!"

So...my summer plans have changed.
I make these plans knowing full well that come July I will think it was the stupidest plan on the planet but I also know that (in the words of Paul Simon hehe) "these are the days of miracle and wonder" and I will never get them back.

So I will temper, "Get me the hell out of this house!!" with, "oh my baby is growing up, sob, sob" and I will hope for a good balance of spending time enjoying these last days of freedom from obligation with keeping mom's sanity intact.

It's a tricky balance for sure but I hope to come away from this summer with a good healthy dose of snuggles, blanket forts, giggling, monkey legs wrapped around me, her brilliant ideas, sweaty baby neck (mmm), lots of talking, and all the wonderful things about my 5 year old sweetie. I will store them away and 10 years from now (oh god. 15!) I will cherish them.

Two things that made me cry recently:

Pioneer Woman. The picture of that beautiful baby waking up then falling back to sleep in the way that only a toddler can do.

And from Soule Mama:

"As a new season of growth begins for us in the garden, I feel the growth of my children too. I'm reminded through this seasonal rhythm we celebrate and treasure - these yearly markers of time passing. One tells me ever-so-gently that I'm putting the potatoes in the ground incorrectly. He knows how to do this better than I (and he really does - with his memory and his body that has gardened his whole life. I still look in books). One explains to his sister in great detail and with accuracy just how it is that all that worm poop is good for her peas. She, old enough now to write, makes markers for each crop with an enormous amount of pride. And this year, I feel the kicks of a happy, vibrant boy on my back - the one who was still just a dream himself at planting time last year.
And thus, another season of growing begins."

28 Things To Do Before I Turn 29

2009-05-11T22:05:00.010-06:00

Yeah, my birthday was a month ago. I'm lazy. That's why I need lists!

1. Use these more. For journaling prompts (kids and I both), discussion topics, and family art/drawing time:

(by the way, these are Table Topics and 52 Things To Do...)

2. More backyard picnics, blanket/clothesline forts, yard naps and camping out on the grass

3. Do this:

4. Have that perfect day I wrote about (and have edited a hundred times)

5. 1,000 Recordings To Hear Before You Die (just want to get started)

6. Listen to all the This American Life Podcasts that I have on my ipod

7. Make these sweaters with thrifted and felted wool:

8. Make these prints:

on skirts with one of these:
9. Take more photos

10. Take that one photo that I really want

11. Make some simple cloth dolls and clothes with the girls

12. Read the books on the list

13. Make a path or piece of patio that looks like the one I took a million pictures of in Fremont

14. Finish those tea towels I bought at the flea market

15. Make the reusable snack bags before Olivia starts school in the fall

16. Bust out the books and the preschool teacher arsenal more often

17. Make marshmallows with the kids

18. Use these cute birds on something

19. Alter/embellish/make more of my own clothes

20. Implement my brilliant movie night idea

21. Make the skirts (the more difficult ones)

22. Do some linoleum block prints

23. Teach Livi to jump rope (and all the rhymes)

24. Get Jamie off those training wheels

25. Put the tree swings up in the front yard

26. Drive the damn Cadillac!

27.

28. Do all the things I didn't do from "27 Things To Do..."

See 27?

It's blank. I need one more thing. Really it's just an evil plot to get all 2 of my readers (hehe) to make a suggestion. What would you add? What do you think I should add?

Family Drawing Time

2009-05-09T23:02:00.004-06:00

Read this.

Last summer we rid ourselves of that pesky television and as an alternative to evening TV watching I bought some new games and art supplies.

The best purchase was these sketchbooks.

I bought one for everyone and everyone got new markers, colored pencils and oil pastels. The girls and I have spent a lot of time drawing in our sketchbooks. We don't collaborate, we just draw or write whatever is on our mind. It has been a nice way to wind down in the evenings and I love looking through them later to see all the different things they've made. Sometimes they'll dictate a story about their drawing and those are so fun to look back on.

In January we had filled them up so we took a little outing to Quality Art to buy new ones. We also bought a giant roll of butcher paper for collaborative drawing (just like the post above)

We have covered the table a few times and did some big drawings where we each added to one another's and we have made some wrapping paper but my favorite "giant butcher paper project" was this:

We cut up a Burpee seed catalog (for hours, I think) and made our imaginary garden. Each of us with a little plot to put whatever we wanted in. (Yes, those are my orderly rows.)

So...BLA BLA BLA! I said all that to say: I highly recommend some family drawing time. Either on your own paper but working side by side or an a ginormous paper working together. It's fun. It's relaxing. It's a great way to get your kids talking about what they're thinking about.

Now...if we could just get that one obstinate member of our family to participate.

Side note: That dream garden hangs in our hallway and we LOVE looking at it and so does everyone that comes to our house!

Check it out!

2009-04-24T12:56:00.001-06:00

My brother and his partner, Patrick.
Business partner. (hehe)

CHECK IT OUT! It's a short video.

I know this doesn't count

2009-04-17T13:10:00.001-06:00

Read THIS. And weep. Like I did. hehe. So sweet.

Forgot about these

2009-04-14T17:33:00.001-06:00

Memory Lane

2009-03-31T16:15:00.004-06:00

This afternoon the girls asked me to take a box of their baby clothes out of the closet so they could look at them. I took the box down and realized that it contained some baby memorabilia kinda stuff too. I spent a little time digging through it. We oohed and aahed and did the, "can you believe you were so tiny?", "that's you in mommy's tummy", etc...

Then I came across this little gem.

Olivia was about 11 months old and I was very pregnant with Jamie. My mom and I were just leaving the doctor's office.

This is the note that Jimmy's secretary wrote while he talked to a customer on line one. I think the story tells itself!

I feel old today

2009-03-25T21:46:00.002-06:00

I have been tired, feeling old and rickety and a little overwhelmed these last few days but I have been actively fighting it every way I can and have been pretty successful at staying on top.

However...today I worked an extra long day and the rain was a little too much in combination with 14 children.
I went out after work for a tasty adult beverage and grown-up conversation in an effort to ward off the impending doom.
Headed home, plopped down to breathe a sigh of relief and what do I see?

Facebook chat: (paraphrased)

Jen: Did you see the FB invite to our 10 year class reunion?

Me: No

Jen: Yeah. Family swim. I'll be there in my bikini.

Me: hehehe. Yeah. Me too.

And you know what I thought? Not the predictable "Oh my! High school reunion! I feel old!"

Nope! I thought, "I'm too damn cranky to have been out of high school for only 10 years. OH MY GOD I'M ONLY 27 YEARS OLD!! I'm a spring chicken! Why do I feel so stinkin' old?"

UGH! I think I need to go to bed and try again tomorrow!
The sun will come up, right?

Number 16

2009-03-22T10:06:00.002-06:00

My dad, Jimmy, the kids and I rocked the rollerskating.

Warren, Joe and Kels totally weinered out and got rollerblades instead of kickin' it old school.

My mom took pictures and rabble-roused from the bench. (pics to follow soon)

Jamie wanted nothing to do with it.

Olivia was more gangly than ever before. She's like a cracked out daddy long legs with only four legs.

Joe and I won the race. Oh yeah. We raced and Warren disowned us for stupidity.

Jimmy is pretty sure he pulled a shoulder muscle with his fall-preventing wild-arm flailing.

Candy and soda were consumed in mass quantities.

And one more thing...I won 20 free admissions!!

SKATE PARTY ANYONE? WOO!

You can't help but smile..

2009-03-20T22:16:00.003-06:00

I tortured myself tonight by listening to a particularly sad CD but I was inspired to turn it off when I heard Livi singing along under her breath,

"My mama sparkle and shine, sparkle and shine...."

Nothing like unconditional love from a 5 year old to brighten up one's day.

A question for you

2009-03-05T14:54:00.002-07:00

Do you or have you ever named a car?

I have only owned one car that I felt compelled to name.
I had a teal Honda Civic that I got my senior year of high school.
The guy I was dating at the time was a "car namer" and pressured me into naming my car.

So I named it Jade and imagined that it was a very feminine acting gay man.

(OMG! I just realized that if you know Jon you are totally going to laugh your ass off at that last statement!! I must have been subconsciously retaliating!)

Note To Self

2009-03-02T08:45:00.002-07:00

and to you if you need it...

Love the end of this post at Angry Chicken:

I snapped this picture of Ezra yesterday. On the same day I boycotted the laundry to finish my sweater, I found him walking around the house with his precious knitting tower (from Nova Naturals) making a crazy-long i-cord, with the skein of yarn clipped to his shirt. When I asked him what was up with the clothespinned ball o' yarn, he replied, "Well, my legs were tired of sitting so I had to get up and walk around, but I didn't want to stop making it, so I clipped it to me to keep going!"

Find a way to keep doing what you love. I think he gets it.

Sometimes these things - our passions and our projects - get done in simple, yet miraculous ways: in the two-minute increments of time that may appear at a time; with the help of a sweet husband who carries a little extra weight for a moment so I can do something as silly as knit a sleeve in silence; or as the chosen priority for a day over a pile of laundry/bathroom cleaning/bill paying. Sometimes we go to extreme/comical/ridiculous measures to make our passions happen in the everyday. Because the way it makes me feel - the way it feeds my soul - well, that fuels me to be a better person. And a better mom.

One little stitch at a time.

Remember this?

2009-03-01T17:21:00.002-07:00

A little over a month to go on this little "project" here and I have to say that I am not as far along as I expected but I also know that knowing this list is out there has pushed me to do some things I may have continued to put off.

1. Make a collage DONE
2. Write letters
3. Park my car once a week. Take public transportation or ride my bike to work.
4. Surprise someone with exactly what they want.
5. Make out at the drive in movie.
6. Watch 5 classic movies. DONE (a lot)
7. Switch to re-usable bags for grocery buying. DONE
8. Take Olivia skiing. DONE
9. Go on a weekend trip with my best friend...like we used to.
10. Go on a weekend trip with just my kids and I. DONE
11. Go on a weekend trip alone.
12. Remember to floss every day.
13. Call my oldest brother.
14. Keep in better touch with my sister.
15. Unsubscribe to all that crap that floods my inbox. DONE
16. Take my kids rollerskating with my dad.
17. Go paperless as much as possible at home and work.
18. Go without eating at a restaurant or fast food for a month. DONE
19. Get a front porch. However it has to happen.
20. Spend at least 4 nights of this summer with my backpack only.
21. Get out of the city limits once a month all year.
22. Eat more green stuff. Encourage my family to.
23. Write in a journal 2 times a week.
24. Don't flinch.
25. Say what I want.
26. Read more non-fiction.
27. Figure out that whole map and compass crap.

#9, 11 and 16 I still hope to accomplish before my birthday.

#5, 24 and 27 I will move to next year's list

and # 2, 3, 4, 12, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25 and 26 are moving on to some random list in my head that says something like, "lifelong goals" or "the person you wish you were"

and # 13 and 14 I have more to say about at a later date.

#19 goes on a list that says something like, "you have commitment issues" or "the real estate market blows" or "quit hoping that possessions will give you the life that you want" or "100 year old houses are a pain in the ass"

So...my goal for the next month:

Rollerskating, Utah and being a big girl

Some of you may appreciate this

2009-02-23T22:13:00.003-07:00

Surfin the web and came across this. FUNNY!!!
Read the comments also to see how many other people feel the same way!

She doesn't look like much now...

2009-02-22T14:24:00.003-07:00

...but boy is she shiny!

It is coming together but here is the part that I don't like...

There are soooo many pieces and so many different things happening at once and there are parts literally EVERYWHERE! I wandered all over the shop into each mechanic's bays to take these pictures of all the pieces.

Bumper and back window upstairs, hood in my office, stuff on the floor, stuff in the trunk, on a workbench, in a box. AAAHHH!

The crazy thing is..it will all come together.

Despite the look of chaos, they all know exactly what they're doing.

It amazes me when I go out into the shop and see them all working on it and one of them is holding a baggie labeled "rear window motor" full of tiny pieces that will somehow work again!

Daniel is meticulously polishing chrome, Franco and Pat are wrestling the windows into place and Ryan is welding some a/c mounts.

Amazing.

The very coolest thing?

I know this sounds totally corny but it's true..

I love it that everyone who has put work into this (mechanics, painter, embroidery guy) has said in some way or another,

"This is what I love! Using my skills to make something so darn cool!"

And they all have this little twinkle of, "Yep. I did that."

I LOVE THAT!!

Random Things That Thrill Me

2009-02-18T10:06:00.003-07:00

Wiping out the entire calendar and starting fresh. I do it about every two weeks and shift the dates so I can see further into the future.
A minute after this picture was taken I whipped out a paper towel, wiped off the whole thing, started with February 15th and now I can see all the way to March 21st. Strange that this thrills me.

A tower of brand new white washcloths.
I love Costco.

Webcam Outtakes

2009-02-15T15:29:00.003-07:00

I finally joined Facebook.

After receiving a few messages saying, "Where's your picture?" I started to hunt through my computer for a picture of myself. Guess how many there were?

NONE!

I guess I'm the one always behind the camera!

Jimmy said that he'd take some but I knew I would feel goofy and get obsessive about how I looked and I'd start asking after every picture, "Let me see it"

So webcam it was!

Here are the ones I didn't use: hehe

Lookie Lookie!

2009-02-13T19:22:00.003-07:00

That fine piece of black shiny-ness is the hood to my Cadillac!!

Hehehehe (that is me being giddy with excitement)

I forgot that I had these too. These were taken right before the chrome was stripped off and it was sent to the painter guys.

V Day Eve Romantic Chat

2009-02-13T13:29:00.003-07:00

Jimmy: Hey! You still owe me money from last week when I bought you that coat.
(I know this seems a little silly. Long story.)

Me: I know. I didn't forget.

Jimmy: Well how about this? Instead of giving me the money you can just say that the coat is your Valentine's Day present.

Me: Yeah. Good plan. Then I won't be disappointed when you don't get me anything.
You do know I'm not getting you anything, right?

Jimmy: Yep

What do YOU think?

2009-02-10T07:35:00.002-07:00

This is what my days usually look like.

JuJu is indeed eating rice krispies, from the box, with a spoon. She's also under a table and wearing a "snow princess" dress.
Stella waiting patiently for me to give her the go ahead to scarf up the mountain of cereal on the floor. Who needs a vacuum?
Poor Aladdin.
Men don't stand a chance in our house.

Guess what grammy and grampy brought from Hawaii? Grass skirts and coconut bras. Nice.

Olivia rocks the hula.

I say all that to say this...

I know it seems early but this is the time of year that we start looking forward to the next school year. Intention forms, open houses, contracts, etc. All in the workings right now.

I have to make plans for summer and right now, dear readers, knowing what you know about me, I need your opinion.

Here's the thing: It's a wash. With two kids I will earn what I pay out in care. So. Should I stay home or should I work?

Another day wasted (?)

2009-02-09T14:38:00.002-07:00

Cool kid skirt idea. I can just see JuJu with pockets full of goodies.

and this is genius!

On the upside..

I did 10 (yes 10) loads of laundry today and we are going to make cupcakes in about 5 minutes. I managed to take a shower and get out of my jammies! Woo!

It's the small victories, ya know? hehe

Treasure!

2009-02-09T09:06:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I stopped off at the Collister branch LIBRARY! to drop off some books and Jimmy noticed a little antique mall-y thing next door. Since we didn't have kids in tow I agreed to go in . Antique mall-y things are not my favorite thing but sometimes I'm in the mood and can enjoy it. I have a similar feeling about yard sales and Ross.

So yesterday I was in the mood enough to agree to go and I'm so glad I did!

I found a gorgeous butter yellow tweed coat that fit absolutely perfectly! Like it was made for me!

When I was ready to check out the lady at the register said that she had a friend that worked at Frederick & Nelson in the 50s.

"That was when they had full time elevator operators and my friend was an 'elevator girl'. She wore these little white gloves and she just opened and closed the iron elevator doors all day long."

I wish the picture looked a little better. All the lighting in my house looks so sickly when it's grey outside. Bleck.

2009-02-08T21:00:00.003-07:00

You have to click on it to really see it. It makes a visual representation of the words in your blog. As far as I can tell it only uses your most recent posts but it's still pretty cool to see all the words you use. Notice all of my words that end in "-y". Hehe

A friend of mine pointed me to this HILARIOUS blog a while back. Oh my God is she funny.

Totally unrelated to the actual blog but she did have a link to this Wordle thing and it's pretty cool.

Sunday Surfing

2009-02-08T10:44:00.004-07:00

Came across this blog and the gorgeous things that she makes for her daughters. So beautiful. Of course I don't make clothes for my kids (only for myself) but they're still lovely!

I've been thinking about starting on my summer skirt sewing frenzy now rather than waiting for mid-summer. Duh.

And you know how I love aprons, right?

Check out these beauties

Maybe my maker is getting unbroken?

Or maybe I will just be content with looking at the beautiful things that I could easily make and not make them. All the while wishing that I made them?

Did I show you what I did make? Months ago.

I only made 4 things for Christmas this year. I don't have a photo of the puppet theatre that I made for my niece but I do have a photo of the rockin' Madonna-esque fingerless gloves that I made for Megan and the pair that I kept for myself.

Also made this cute-y cute (if i do say so myself) wrap thing-y for my sister-in-law.

It has cards and envelopes in the middle. A little notebook for addresses or notes on one side and a pen and stamps on the other.

In an ideal world you could take it with you while you did some waiting type thing and whip out some thank you cards or something. I'm not organized enough to make that happen but maybe Robyn does that with it?

You just had to say it

2009-02-06T18:40:00.002-07:00

2 Good things today:

* "Teacher!! Our first day of 5!!!"
We have a thermometer and a clothing guide hanging by the outside door in my classroom and the kids know that if the (digital) temp starts with a 4 then they have to wear coats. If it starts with a 3, 2 or 1 then they have to wear as much clothing as possible.

On those glorious in-between days when the temperature starts with a 5 we gleefully strip down to long sleeves and absolutely BASK in the sun and relative warmth.
Today was the day and oh was it good.

*Haircut day!
There is nothing like a haircut to make a girl feel better. Plus..that Erin. She's a gooder.

Nothin' like dinner and a transvestite

2009-02-05T19:51:00.006-07:00

MOM!! DON'T READ THIS!

My brother and Kels are staying at my house for a few days...ah the circus is in town.

Last night (while perusing craigslist hookers. highly entertaining. try it.) Joe came across a lovely looking (obviously male) woman and said to Jimmy, "Ooh! Check her out!"

To which Jimmy replied (not knowing it was a man), "Not bad"

Which of course set him up for a good 'ol junior high ribbing.

"You heard it! Jimmy thought the shemale was hot",

"Hey Jimmy! Do you know how I know you're gay?"

Etc, etc.

The conversation quickly deteriorated to some horrible conversation involving the desirability of various parts on various people and this brings me to the quote of the week:

(Courtesy of Joe)

"Think about it! Think of the hottest girl you know. Ok, now add a dick. Ruins it doesn't it?"

I'm not the only one

2009-02-04T13:35:00.002-07:00

Check out Soulemama's "February Manifesto".

You can also click on her links "years" and "past" to see how she has coped with February in the past.

Love it!

One good thing about February that I did notice today (and despite me telling February that it sucks because of all the pink, red and valentiney cute-ness)

I absolutely LOVE to go into stores in February. Everything is so pink and red.
I went to Paisley Roberts today and it was just so darn pretty and I had to appreciate it in spite of it's dreaded V-day implications.

If you've never been (and you have a sick sick obsession with all things paper) Paisley Roberts is always a fantastic place to shop and a huge plus...locally and female-ly owned and operated! (Female-ly is a word)

They are always super sweet and helpful and it's just so darn...paper-y and beautiful!
A wonderful pick-me up!

Dear February, I HATE YOU!

2009-02-03T20:08:00.001-07:00

Ah February you seem so sweet and innocent. All valentine-y and pink and red but in reality you're cold and grey. And not a little bit mean. No snow to cover up the ugliness and no signs of spring to give hope. You're the crappy in between month and you deserve to be squished. I declare war on you February. I will not let you bring me down this time with your no sunshine bullshit.

Who's with me?

February is the month for finding the good in the bad and I intend to do that every day that your miserable existence plagues me.

So today..the good that snuck in...

MY LITTLE BROTHER AND HIS WIFE ARE GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER CRAZY LITTLE O'DELL!!

YAY!!!

Congratulations you guys.
Thank you so much for calling me (first?). It absolutely made my day. And Kels...I know it's a little scary but you will be amazed at your capacity for love. I promise.
I love you and of course you know that I'm always here.

True Story

2009-02-02T14:34:00.004-07:00

Last night I COULD NOT sleep! Even though I headed to bed early and finished an entire book I just never got that drowsy feeling where I knew I could turn the light off and sleep would come easily. Something was off and I felt restless.

Jimmy was awake and engrossed in some project in the garage so I wandered out at about midnight to see what he was doing and maybe polish some chrome*.
He was listening to some tunes on the ipod and had a "90s music" playlist going. (one that itunes compiles for you) After saying repeatedly, "I loved this song when I was in high school."
He turned to me and said, "So you've always been angry?"

To which I replied, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, every song that you 'loved in high school' is some scary girl acting really pissed off!"

Sure enough. I flipped back through them and they were all a tad bit on the pissed off (mostly at men) side.

So I said, "It's true! Geez! I didn't even have anything to be angry about! I must have been one seriously angsty teenager!" Jimmy laughs as I say, "my favorite song was 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morrisette! And stop laughing at my terrible taste in music. My favorite line in the song is the part where she sounds the most pissed off! My gosh I was a mad girl!"

And we went on our merry way of not sleeping and laughing at bad 90's music.

Ok, I lied. I went to Taco Bell and Redbox at 1am and then we went on our merry way. hehe

Here she is in all her pissed off glory and my favorite line is 2:02 to 2:05.
Oh and check out her awesome bad 90's lipstick. Love it!
And if you have delicate sensibilities...it does contain the big f-er.

*This is not a euphemism you sickos! There is actually a shit ton of chrome from the Cadillac that needs polished before it can go back on.

One more thing. A pop quiz that I think angry 'ol Alanis would agree with:

Q: What's better than being sad or hurt?
A: Being really really pissed off.

Quote(s) Of The Week

2009-02-01T12:47:00.001-07:00

Joe: I just wear jeans until they fall apart.

Jimmy: Yeah. It's like, "Why drop 50 bucks on a pair of jeans when you can buy a bag of good shit?"

Joe: Yeah

Jimmy: And then you won't care what your pants looks like.

She's quirky, that one

2009-01-28T14:43:00.003-07:00

Juju: Mom, did you fart?

Me: No.

Juju: (laughing maniacally) I did!

Me: Gross!

Juju: It smells like tacos! (laughs so hard she falls off the bed)

A few days before:

Juju: (sinister sounding laugh) Mom? Did you see me fart?

Me: Yes, I saw you.

Juju: Farts! Aren't they beautiful?

Books

2009-01-27T12:15:00.002-07:00

I have been doing an insane amount of reading! All this cold and inversion and being home for 5 days straight equals a lot of time to NOT GET OUT OF BED!

Book Report!

Good Girls Gone Bad by Jillian Medoff

Hated it!

Something Rising (Light and Swift) by Haven Kimmel

Pretty good. I had high expectations because A Girl Named Zippy was FANTASTIC! but this one was just ok.

The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd

Finished this yesterday. LOVED IT!

On deck for the next couple weeks:

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood

The Solace of Leaving Early by Haven Kimmel

Our Lady of the Forest by David Guterson

Sea Glass by Anita Shreve

Number 8

2009-01-26T12:32:00.004-07:00

sigh

2008-12-29T11:30:00.011-07:00

I'm going to take a bloggin' break for a while (I have been unofficially for about a week) and I will leave you with this:

A friend of my mom's posted this..I think it was somehow related to the election and John McCain has 7 houses or something stupid but the question was, "If you could own 7 houses where would they be?"

First...Right here. All alone.

Second...

I don't really like big houses but if I could pick one of them to be extra large it would be a cabin. A cabin with a creek just deep enough for sitting in a lawn chair in the middle, lots of hiking nearby, lots of snow in the winter and a mess-o-bedrooms with a bunch of bunk beds and a loooong dining table with 20 chairs, a huge kitchen for some group cooking/eating, a fire pit outside, a huge fireplace inside (damn efficiency, I want real wood and flames) a closet full of board games, a heated porch to hang your cold snowy clothes, a meadow that has wildflowers in the spring and maybe even a little garden (all practicality of upkeep aside).

Third...

Doesn't it just look FUN!?

I checked out a tree house in Mexico and it was so cool! The problem was that these houses were built in trees because of seasonal flooding. Not so much fun.

Fourth...

I would love a big 'ol creaky farmhouse that is maybe even a little creepy. It would need a barn for sure, with a hay loft, and a huge flower garden, a short fence covered in some kind of flowery vine, grass, trees maybe some chickens.

Fifth...

Pacific Heights neighborhood in San Francisco but only on a beautiful day with a little breeze, a lot of sunshine and a view across the bay as far as you can see. That was a perfect, perfect day that makes me hold a special little place for that neighborhood. Not to mention that it's full of beautiful houses!

Sixth...

and Seventh...

The most realistic and the one I want the very most...

A perfect craftsman bungalow in my very own hometown.

2 bedrooms, one bathroom, garage in the alley, front porch, wood floors, plenty of windows, small yard, walking distance to school. A girl can dream, right?

Lovin' Right Now

2008-12-17T19:34:00.003-07:00

1. Making a couple things for Christmas from this book and this blog.
Making things used to be my favorite thing to do, but lately (my mom is a little horrified, I think) my "maker" is totally broken. I haven't even bought any pretty paper lately. Maybe it's coming back, slowly.

2. New books from the library.
I get so caught up in buying books that I forget that crazy little thing called borrowing.

3. Different ways to celebrate winter holidays.
Jodeen (yoga teacher at school) talked about Solstice today in my class. Saturday night I'm going to incorporate her idea into our little Solstice celebration. Isn't that what we're calling it, Jen? hehe

4. A stack of wool sweaters from the thrift store.
To felt and recycle into cute little things like this! Gotta get lots of things to do in the winter! This will be our first NO TV winter. Cross your fingers for us. This book is so adorable.

Browsing

2008-12-10T18:43:00.004-07:00

I always like to take a little looksie at the blogs that other people read.

I finally got around to checking out the blogs that N*77 and The Dead Acorn read regularly and I came across this little gem:

Hmmm. I wonder if The Dead Acorn thinks this one is funny?

And on N*77:

Moping With Intent To Gawk said:

"Junior seemed nonplussed by the entire transition while Mom and I fretted through that first night, the walkie-talkie baby monitor action is something I'll have to get used to. Not sure if it allows me to rest assured knowing I'll hear the mayhem when it starts or if it just furthers the level of paranoia I'm already experiencing."

Ah, reading this brought back memories of that baby monitor paranoia.

Hey P77: It furthers the paranoia!

I remember the day that I made peace with it. I read in a book or magazine something like:

"Turn it off!!! No one I know owns a house so big that you can't hear your baby cry. Baby monitors are the devil!!"

Something like that. So I said goodbye to the monitor and voila! better sleep for me AND Juju! Apparently she didn't want me all up in her face every time she sniffed any more than I wanted to haul out of bed!

Quote Of The Week

2008-12-09T15:30:00.001-07:00

"You're a teacher and a democrat. You can't say 'retard'.

-Joe O'Dell

Happy Birthday To You!

2008-12-09T13:38:00.003-07:00

Dad,

Happy Birthday!

Love,

Your favorite kid
(That's me, right?)

More where that came from

2008-12-04T20:08:00.001-07:00

She's such a little kook!

The essence of Juju

2008-12-03T20:41:00.003-07:00

I think this is "Faux Horror" as in "Oh my there is a giant crab on the beach and I am so afraid! Giggle, giggle."

"Juju Wogers"

2008-12-03T20:38:00.002-07:00

My baby turned 4 yesterday.

I can clearly remember the day I found out I was having her. If you do the math from my previous posts you'll realize that Olivia and Jamie are 13 months apart and (no offense to anyone who DID plan it) no one in their right mind would plan on having kids that close together.

It was the first week in July and Olivia was just starting to do a little scooting around on her belly and getting up on her hands and knees to crawl. I sat and watched her for what seemed like hours and thought, "If I don't take a pregnancy test and I never find out for sure then it won't actually be happening." I was THAT terrified. It could have been that same day or maybe the next that I finally called my friend, Jen, and told her I thought I was pregnant.

My memories right here are a little foggy...we went to Walgreens together or maybe she went alone..but an hour or so later there we are in my bathroom looking at that stick with the two lines and I can not think any thought but, "FUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (sorry mom)

Jen just happened to work at the medical imaging center so she very calmly (yeah right) said, "Lets go down and see how far along you are. Maybe you are just pregnant and they'll be about 18 months apart. That's not so bad."

Fast forward to me and the ultrasound technician:

"So, how far along do you think you are?"

"Oh, about 4 months."

Raised eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yep, that was the last time I had sex"

"Well, lets just see here."

Puts the gel on my tummy, presses the wand thing-y to my tummy and instantly says,

"WHOA! You weren't kidding!"

I'm pretty sure that I immediately started crying.

"Well, it's a girl and you are about 18 weeks along" (THAT'S ALMOST HALFWAY!)

Fast forward over the next very terrifying several months and here's the part where it gets maybe too honest.

I would like to say that I got over it and that by the time Jamie was born I was the picture of serenity but the truth is that I wasn't. I was just as scared on the day she was born as I was way back in July.
I was sure that there was no way in hell that I could take care of two babies.

My mom never left my house without all three of us in tow for a week straight. I cried all the time. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and I'm pretty sure that my mom made me take a shower.

Gradually things got better and ever so slowly I found out that I was quite capable of taking care of two kids. (Wait a minute? Don't I do this for a living?) And I found out that I was capable of some pretty amazing things. Things that you see in a movie. Baby attached to left breast, one hand changing a diaper and the other hand holding the phone.

And now.... How boring would my life would be without my beautiful, quirky, hilarious JuJu?
She keeps me on my toes, that one.

To my Wittle JuJu Wogers:

Happy birthday little softie. I love you so much. I can't believe I get to be your mommy. You are just so darn cool.

Every time you find the crazy in the mundane, I think, "How did I ever live without you to bring so much life to my life?" You make every day an adventure and an exercise in arms wide open pure joyful living. YOU are the girl that I would pick to go dancing in the rain with.

I love you baby and I can't wait to live another year with you...you get funnier every day!

These are a few of my favorite things

2008-11-23T15:56:00.004-07:00

[Edited: Next time I make 3 typos in one hastily written sentence, will someone please tell me?]

1. NOT Christmas shopping. I have picked up a few things here and there over the past few weeks and everything else I have leisurely ordered online. Lovin' it.

2. Paper Back Swap. I know I've said this before, but I love giving my books a new home. Recently I've been thinking about why I love it so much and I figured it out. I just love having a stack of books ready to go out the door. I always wrap them in a brown paper bag, hand address them, then imagine how happy the person is going to be for a moment when they open their mailbox.

3. Butter and brown sugar. Together, preferably baked. As in acorn squash or sweet potato casserole. YUM! I am eating sweet potato casserole, right now, straight out of the pan.

Coming into the 21st Century. Slowly.

2008-11-16T21:04:00.004-07:00

No more annoying T9 bullshit for me!

and in other news...

My phone totally died, locked itself, and the #3 won't work so I can't unlock it. So, the tech guy at Verizon tried everything he could think of but no luck. So..no phone number transfer and I can't even unlock my phone to do it manually. I didn't realize how heavily I relied on it. I started to program numbers in from memory and realized that I only know like 3 phone numbers. So, if you don't hear from me for months, that's why!

Or you could call me or send me a text message!

Actually this is just a pathetic plea for phone calls.

One time I read the saddest secret EVER on Post Secret. It said something like...

"I got the new iPhone and it still doesn't ring anymore than my old phone."

Check out Natalie's soapbox about how owning cool stuff doesn't make you cool. Love it! Girl after my own heart (as my mom would say)

And I'm rambling and this all ties together somehow.

To Whom It May Concern

2008-11-12T15:07:00.002-07:00

Pam has Megan

Gene has Linda

Sarah has Irma

Jimmy has Bob

Warren has Benji

Megan has Gabe

Joe has Melissa

Kelsey has Jimmy

Benji has Warren

Erika has Kelsey

Melissa has Pam

Gabe has Joanne

Bob has Joe

Joanne has Erika

Linda has Sarah

Irma has Gene

THIS IS WRITTEN IN STONE, DAMMIT!!!
Happy Holidays! (hehe)

January

2008-11-12T13:58:00.002-07:00

Two years ago and last year

Two years ago...
I hate to even open this can of worms. If you were there and a part of it, I'm sorry for even bringing it up. If you weren't there, thank your lucky stars!

It's hard to believe, now, how much it consumed every inch of me. Looking back it seems a bit silly. I'm not trying to downplay it (because, jesus christ, that was a lot of money down the drain) but I also can look back on it and see that there were so many things that I could have done to make it less stressful.

I think I can honestly see it with enough detachment to realistically assess what I took away from it and I have to say that this is the NUMBER ONE thing: STOP TALKING!
Do not let every word that comes out of your mouth be about the thing that is causing so much trouble.

I think that the thing I was most relieved about when it was all over was that I didn't have to talk about it to every single person in my life. Every time I saw my mom and dad, every conversation I had with Jimmy, every conversation with my in-laws, everyday, over and over again. Every detail was re-hashed, every conversation dissected, every dollar scrutinized, every scab ripped open over and over again. It was all so ugly and hurtful and most of the time it was absolutely pointless.

I hope I remember this experience when there comes a time in my life where I have to deal with a really difficult thing that everyone wants to talk to you about. I know there is value in talking. I love to talk. I like to get other peoples' perspective and I really like to hash out a problem with the view point of 2 or 3 people. But it's a fine line. A razor thin one where one side is good 'ol talk therapy and the other is this mind numbing inability to do anything but talk about it. Sometimes I think I would still be just talking about it if my dad hadn't said, "It's done. It's over. We can't save it. Walk away, baby" I would still be on that sinking boat and I'd have probably been on it by myself.

Ok, enough of that.

Last year...

Definitely doing the Winter Solstice Party again.

(Warren, wouldn't it be cool if the Caddy was done in time to do cookies in the church parking lot again??)

December..back to the blog anniversary

2008-11-11T19:51:00.003-07:00

Two years ago and last year

I think that first one is pretty funny and lame. Apparently I like comparing where I was and where I am.

So, an update on that situation..he and his girlfriend are having a baby. I think sometime this summer. She's super sick with morning sickness and he is totally thrilled to be at this point in his life. They didn't plan it but are very happy about it.
I am really happy for him too. I always knew he would be a great dad.

It's strange to me that our lives are so far apart, literally and figuratively.
It's NOT one of those situations where you think about, "What if..." for the rest of your life. Our relationship ran it's course over a long period of time. We broke up without any ill feelings toward one another and continued to be friends.

It's seems like hundreds of years ago that I was that person. (It was only 6 years) I had absolutely no idea that I would be where I am today. I think I am still reeling from how quickly and dramatically my life changed over such a short period of time.

Ok, enough of that! I'm about to go "too much info" for my reading public. Hehehe.

And about that second one...Geez, I bitch a lot! I still feel the same way but I am pretty happy to say that I am taking baby steps toward a little balance.

Add to my list...

2008-11-11T19:44:00.002-07:00

My dad gave me a two page list of "Must See Movies". So on Sunday night I rented 5 movies from the list. I've watched 3 so far and plan on watching the other 2 tonight and tomorrow. So...What's your favorite movie? Top 5? Add to my list!

Olivia's Birthweek

2008-11-09T10:48:00.003-07:00

Bike Demolition Derby/Gladiators

Birthday playdate

JuJu sleeping on the floor...at the bowling alley

More bike demo derby

Lemon Meringue Birthday Pie

Annual Birthday measurement inside the closet door

She Did It!

2008-11-05T20:33:00.001-07:00

Here she is, all sassy!

I took pictures while it was happening but I didn't have my own camera so I'm waiting for them to be emailed to me.

She was so brave!

2 years

2008-11-04T19:14:00.002-07:00

My two year blogging anniversary is coming up! Oh my gosh two years!! That is insane!

I had a big long post about all the things that are different now but it was a little lengthy so I thought I'd start now and drag it out over the next 10 days or so. I've had some complaints about my lack of blogging (sorry Jen) so here goes!

Lets start at the beginning shall we...

Here we are November 2006...

http://sarahbelladressedinyellow.blogspot.com/2006/11/holidays-families-and-homicidal.html

I am ashamed to say that absolutely nothing has changed because here are my same feelings in 2007...

http://sarahbelladressedinyellow.blogspot.com/2007/11/thanksgiving-and-thanksgiving-2.html

And here is another thing that's coming up...
http://sarahbelladressedinyellow.blogspot.com/2007/11/olivias-last-day-to-be-3.html

Olivia is going to turn 5 on Thursday! She laid out her birthday plans for me a few weeks ago. Birthday snack at school on Thursday. She would like strawberries, cool whip and cupcakes.

Birthday dinner with Big Grandma, Little Grandpa, Daddy, JuJu, Kordon and Morgan, Kyla and Moira that night since mama will be at school.

Then on Friday she would like to have pizza with Little Grandma, Big Grandpa, Warren, Megan, Daddy, Mama, Joe, Kelsey and Chance.

Then on Saturday she wants a playdate with her 3 favorite friends from school.

Sheesh! I don't know where she got the idea that birthdays were celebrated for a week and that you should milk it as long as possible. I would NEVER do that. I wouldn't start every sentence with, "But it's my birthday!", for a week before. NEVER!
hehehe

Oh...and she is getting her ears pierced for her big 5 year old birthday! Tomorrow, actually! EEK! I think I'm more nervous than she is!

More tomorrow!

Yea for teachers and parents!

2008-10-30T16:56:00.004-06:00

Ugh for parent/teacher conferences...

As a parent... it's so unnerving to sit across from these people who are going to tell you exactly what they think of your kid and (in your mind) exactly what they think of your parenting.

As a teacher...it's so unnerving to sit across from these people and tell them exactly what you think of their kid and convey that they are doing a fine job and you know it's hard and their kid is great. Whatever areas we may be supporting her in are completely normal and part of normal development and please, please don't worry.

Halfway through!!

Crazy Is As Crazy Does

2008-10-30T16:47:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I find it hard to put this little nugget of wisdom into practice:

"No one notices that your socks don't match because they are too busy worrying whether their socks match!"

-Pam O'Dell

More Beach Pictures

2008-10-26T11:22:00.005-06:00

Yes, blurry but doesn't Juju look cute? Little hiker. I love hiking at the coast. It's so rain forest-y and such a contrast to hiking in the mountains around here. This was a short trail (1/2 mile) to a super cool small beach. There were tide pools, surfers, a girl that let the kids warm up by her fire and play with her dog. A gorgeous sunset and some hiking in the dark. Juju totally did not dig that!
The beautiful sunset. *sigh*

Two cute teenagers watching the sunset at a road side viewpoint. They were so cute that I couldn't resist taking a picture of them. *sigh again*

A little bit scary but cool! Olivia wouldn't stop bouncing (She's the bouncing blurry blob) and it was making me a bit nervous. It looks like it has posts but it's actually suspended.

Why is someone blurry in all of these pictures?

Jamie fell into the water and then commandeered my beach blanket when she realized she was standing naked on the beach and it was 55 degrees. Then she acted like she was a baby seal. Nothing brings her down!

Swinging long jump competition. I kicked ass. Check out my terrible form. Imagine how far I could have jumped if I could have reigned in those flailing limbs!

Yeah it was cold but it didn't stop the kids from fully enjoying the beach. And who am I to be the reasonable adult and tell them no?? Heck no!

Olivia is a little obsessed about getting her hands clean. She will touch yucky stuff but can't stand it to stay on her hands very long. Drives me crazy!

Nice hat! I look like a total dufus but it was cold! I also wanted to point out that I look like this is every single picture taken of me at the beach. All mean and scowl-y Do I look like that all the time?

Check out the sassistude!

JuJu-my weird kid. She is so much like Warren, it's eerie

We spent a long time looking at ships move up and down the Columbia River.

The Perils of Motherhood

2008-10-25T18:31:00.002-06:00

This almost killed me today. I stepped on it with my bare foot and almost died.
(And said the f-bomb A LOT!)

Then I thought to myself, "Hmm? Where in the hell did my kids get a Barbie shoe that looks like Hooker Barbie should be wearing it??"

Then I called my mom to tell her that she was going to ruin my kids' lives if she continued to willfully disregard my wishes. And if she didn't quit buying them Barbies I was going to plant these tiny little killer hooker Barbie shoes all over the floor of her house.

Cry Baby

2008-10-25T11:54:00.004-06:00

Go see The Secret Life of Bees. GO SEE IT!!!

I was really tired from not sleeping Thursday night and I have been a bit emotional but dang it was good.

I started crying at one of the previews before the movie ever started and I didn't stop until about 5 minutes before the movie ended. At some really good parts I had to stifle the sobs so Jimmy wouldn't notice what a cry baby I was.

PROZAC!! Somebody get me some!

Ok, that isn't why you should go see it. "I sobbed" is probably not a good reason to see a movie. It was just really, really good. If you've read the book you won't be disappointed by the movie.

And take my recommendation with a grain of salt. Jen and I saw Evening at the theatre and she threatened to drag me out if I didn't stop crying. So yeah, I cry at movies.

I lost my mind today

2008-10-24T16:28:00.002-06:00

and I have no buyers remorse.

I bought the cutest juju purse EVAH! It's gorgeous chocolately brown and HUGE! I can fit a kid in there, for sure.

I usually have a ton of crap crammed into a ratty old messenger or other similar sized bag and then I just snag my phone, keys and cute little card holder thing (that my sister-in-law gave me) when I go into a store or restaurant. It gets annoying because I then have my stuff just loose sitting on a table or the bar or in the cart at the store.

No more! I am hauling this mama in with me! Oh, she's so lovely. I want to pet her.

This could possibly be the girliest thing I have ever written.

Headed home tomorrow

2008-10-18T20:56:00.002-06:00

A Day At The Beach

2008-10-16T21:50:00.003-06:00

Our first glimpe of the ocean since we arrived.
A cool exhibit about the Coast Guard. The area at the mouth of the Columbia receives A LOT of Coast Guard action.
Kids checking out the shipwreck. Gabe and I hunched up against the wind.
Gross!!!
I always wonder how Melissa manages to look so fantastic. There are 4 pictures of me throughout the day and I am scowling in every single one!!

We left at 8 pm on Wednesday night (sheesh, that was last night!) and headed to "the beach". The Oregon Coast.

72 pounds of pistachios, lots of tunes on the new iPod and only two stops.

We were in Seaside at 4 am.

We stopped at the management company to get the key and had a brief panic over not being able to get the key out of the lock box. We finally got it open and crashed hard at the house.

The kids woke up at 7:30 because they had slept the entire way there.

I dragged out of bed around 8 and walked the kids the couple blocks to the beach. They just had to see it before we did anything else. It was cold and misty but still so beautiful. I love it when the waves are huge and the sky is grey.

A little trip to Safeway for provisions and then back to the beach to take advantage of the few moments of sun.

A quick trip to the aquarium to feed the seals and touch all the weird things in the touch tables. I touched a sea cucumber!

Back to the house for lunch and a little laziness.

Melissa and Gabe arrived and we headed to Astoria to the Columbia River Maritime Musuem.

Interesting but maybe too long for the kids

Watched ships move around at the mouth of the Columbia

Melissa and I decided it was tea time. Not for tea but for a between lunch and dinner snack.

Fish and chips from a street vendor.

Headed to Fort Stevens State Park to scope out hiking for tomorrow.

Stopped by the Peter Iredale (shipwreck) and watched people dig for clams

Kids were wet and dirty so we headed back to the beach house.

Stuck the girls in the bath tub and started dinner while Melissa and Gabe made a trip to Safeway for Diet Coke.

Yummy dinner-Kels' Tortellini, cheese bread and BLT salad.

Slabs of lemon cake for dessert

Watched Shrek together

Loaded all the pics of the day onto the computer and watched a slideshow of our day. The girls loved it.

Kids in bed!

It's the Saturday Night Special

2008-10-12T09:14:00.002-06:00

Woke up way too early (8:30) for a Saturday. Olivia and Jimmy were already up. Shuffled around the house, drinking coffee.
Sat at the kitchen counter and read some magazines while Olivia bugged Jimmy. Neener, neener.
Jamie finally woke up around 9:30. Lazy baby.
Jimmy took the kids to grab lunch at about 11. I continued to do nothing.
Jimmy brought Olivia back home. She didn't want to go to Costco and the Stereo Shoppe, she wanted to watch a movie, in bed. Oh twist my arm.
Read magazines while lying in bed next to Olivia. Laptop shut off because it was getting hot. Perfect opportunity for a nap.
Snuggled down in bed with Olivia and took an hour long nap.
Got up, showered, and got ready to go to The Children's School carnival.
Carnival fun but freezing. Drank beer to get warm. Took note of how much I love this school. Do you get to drink beer at your kid's school carnival? I don't think so!
Headed home for more of a whole lot of doing nothing.
Grammy and Grampy came over to play cards. Hung out for an hour, put the kids to bed. Got down to the card playing.
I won everyone's money!! Ok, not really.
Went to bed around 11:30.
Lazy day.

It's Friday I'm in love

2008-10-10T22:21:00.006-06:00

It's just the first song that popped into my head containing the word "Friday". Sorry. No energy to think of a better one.

So today...

Took Jamie to school and headed over to my class to help them get ready for their outing to the shop.

Loaded up 972 kids (seemed like it) and headed to Rogers' Northside Garage to learn about fixing cars!

Spent almost an hour touring the shop. I scored major cool teacher points with one of the dads when it came to talking about my Cadillac.

Headed back to school so I could switch classes and work the 3-4-5's lunch bunch.

Ate lunch with 5 little monkeys. I ate hummus and crackers that I scrounged from the kitchen at school.

Walked to the Co-Op with Betsy and got a cup of clam chowder and hunk-o-bread.

Walked back to school so we could eat our soup and bitch about one of the other teachers.

4-5's class started outside. Borrowed a coat from Nicole because it is FREEZING!

Worked in the 4-5's until 4:00. Made yummy nachos for snack.

Had a great time working with Betsy.

Headed to the shop to pick up Jimmy so we can get the kids from my mom and dad's house.

Got really annoyed at having to wait at the shop for over an hour.

Started snowing.

Picked up kids let them play in the slushy snow in grammy's front yard.

Drove down Hill Road toward home and noticed that some cars were covered in snow.

Drove down Cartwright road to look for that snow. Lots of snow!!

Headed home. Picked up a Little Ceasars Hot N Ready pepperoni pizza. $5 and it feeds everyone.

Girls played in the snow in the backyard.

Came in, took a bath to warm up and ate their pizza.

Spent 2 hours cleaning the house.

Went to Fred Meyer for light bulbs and bought some small clear containers.

Brought them home with the announcement, "Ok girls! It's sorting time!"

Sorted a mountain of stuff into 4 containers. Littlest Pet Shop. Polly Pocket. Barbies. Barbie Clothes and Accessories.

Sorted and pared down dress up clothes, stuffed animals, baby dolls and random small toys. Made room for the pretend kitchen to come down out of big grammas storage. And two other things that can fit into some small-ish baskets. I'm voting for unit blocks and cars.

The girls are really good at saying, "Yeah, we play with that." or "No, we don't really use that."

Made a "donate" bag and a "rotate into storage" bag.

Had a little nacho feast in the girls' bedroom while Jimmy read another Curious George story.

Now, they are in bed and Jimmy is asleep too! I am going to read magazines and drink an entire bottle of wine...in the bathtub, probably.

Tomorrow is the school carnival and carpet shampooing at home. Gosh my life is exciting!

I should be doing homework but a C is a passing grade, right?

2008-10-09T16:33:00.003-06:00

Did you read Dooce.com today? It's right here.

Let me clarify... I'm really not a sappy person but I love this story about a girl and her brother and a time (he may not even remember) that something he did changed her life.
I have a similar story about my little brother, Joe. He must have been only 15 because he didn't have a driver's license yet but the story is basically the same.

I Love you Joe! (I love you too Warren but I get to tell you that, in person, all the time.)

Gah! I AM sappy and emotional today!!

And Thursday was your favorite day

2008-10-09T14:21:00.004-06:00

I realize that it is only 2:30 and that my day is hardly over but...In an hour I will be doing my homework (that I should have done days ago) and then I will head off to school. I have no play by play for today because I'm saving up my "hunched over the computer" energy for homework. I just have a few pictures from work today and the freezin' ass cold morning. Check out that thermometer! I thought I'd take a few work pictures since I never write about it and we use them for documentation purposes for accreditation. Two birds, one stone.

Some thoughts and funnnies:

-I hurt myself 3 times today. Hurting my self is a big part of my day. And I don't mean that I hurt myself intentionally so save your quarter from that phone call.
Fell off my shoes twice and tripped over the power cord to the laptop and during the falling down, I whacked that adapter (what is that?) against the back of my leg.

-According to Olivia, a maniac is someone who shoots cars. A meaniac is someone who fixes them then shoots them. WTF? Apparently there is a sceneiac too but she doesn't know what that means.

-I must be PMS-y. Well, I don't actually have a period but what better way to explain being crazy and emotional? That's what happens right? You cry so you must be PMS-ing?!?! Whatever.

-JuJu is one weird little kid.

-Thanks to my scuzzy little kids, my nephew has pinkeye now. Jamie has taken to calling it "stinkeye".

Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart

2008-10-08T21:39:00.005-06:00

I didn't write any notes on my day today so this post will be a little less...um...tedious.

Up at 6:30 with Olivia
Coffee
Shower
Pumpkin bread
Olivia's eyedrops. She requests a movie so I set her up with the laptop on the couch.
Finish getting ready. Spend a little more time than usual on my hair. Wonder why. It looks the same. Maybe worse.
Another car ride all alone. Ahhh.
Coffee and blurry day at work. It's a blur because it's so busy.
Pick up Jamie from her class. Oh yeah...first I went rushing in to pick up Olivia, went all the way into her class room before I remembered she wasn't there. She's at big grammas because she has pinkeye.
Take Jamie to the shop with me while she waits for gramma to pick her up. She "works" on Jimmy's side of the desk.
Do a little bit of the bookkeeping work at the shop.
Quit after two hours and go shopping with my mom. Ignore the fact that Jimmy is annoyed that he's working and I'm not.
Hit the jackpot! I bought 7 stinkin' cute sweaters!
Mom takes me back to the shop.
I catch a glimpse of the side of my hair and jump online to find a picture of the hair style that I want. I've had it before (many times) but I can't seem to get anyone to do it right. I think I found it. Make a mental note to get a hair appointment.
Check out the box full of gauges for my Cadillac!
Meet the in-laws to pick up kids and eat dinner
Home for bath and bedtime
Plead with Jimmy to go to the shop and get the laptop because I need to do homework. Know that I won't do homework.
Put kids to bed and read my favorite Curious George story to them. The one where he gets high on ether. hehehe Still can't find that one where he holds up a liquor store with the man's pistol. (wink, wink)
My mom comes over to do minor surgery on me.
Ahhh. Sitting in bed blogging.

[I know the bullets are annoying but it was the only way I could get the damn thing to double space]

Ruby Tuesday

2008-10-07T22:08:00.006-06:00

-Up at 6:30. Go outside to check out the morning sky in the east.

-Ahhh. No one is awake. I get to shower without Olivia tapping her foot waiting for the moment that I say, "Ok, I'm done rinsing my hair, you can get in."

-Uh-oh. There's the foot tapper.

-"Mom, this is a weird night"
"It's morning honey."

"Oh, it's still dark outside, I thought it was night."

-Coffee. The pic is my favorite coffee mug. It says, "You've been trying to make a tramp out of me since the day we met." (From The Postman Always Rings Twice). Also, love my Bunn coffee maker. Makes an entire pot of coffee in 3 minutes.

-Pumpkin Bread. Breakfast of champions.

-Blow dry hair. Contemplate straightening hair to tame crazy sticky-outy parts. Decide not to.

Contemplate make-up to disguise dark circles under eyes. Decide not to.

-Yell at Jimmy to "GET UP!!!" 963 times. Finally send Olivia in to wake him up. He's in her bed.

-Olivia requests an egg for breakfast but since I have to work, she gets corn flakes instead.

-Say good bye to Jamie (who has just woke up) and yell at Jimmy that I am leaving and he better get up. Hope that the kids get to school on time.

-Marvel at the difference in the pace of Monday vs. the pace of Tuesday.

-Get a little annoyed at traffic. Realize that I have plenty of time to get to work. Enjoy the silence. Watch a huge crane (a bird, not machine) fly over Chinden.

-Marvel at the silence a little more.

-Text message my brother with a dinner invite (while stuck in traffic).

-Arrive at school. Grab coffee. Chat with Andrea for a bit. Realize I still have a few minutes.

-Talk to Olivia's teacher for too long. Olivia is a perfectionist and she is resisting doing some writing things and I think it's because she wants to do it right or not at all. UGH!!

-Work is a blur.

-Pick up kids from their classes.

-Try to eat healthy from Wendys. Chicken, mandarin oranges and milk for them. Junior bacon cheeseburger for me. GAH! Too much fast food in our lives! Feel annoyed with myself for not packing lunch.

-Head to Buffy's to eat lunch with her and her class.

-Eat. Chat while kids play.

-Head home for nap.

-Flip through some magazines while the kids "sleep".

-Tell Jamie she can get up on one condition:
"You have to snuggle me on the couch for 2 minutes."

"I knew you were going to say that, mama."

-Jamie gets up to play with her oil pastels and I fall asleep on the couch until Olivia wakes up. Mmmm, mini nap.

-Olivia wants a sink bath. She loves taking a quick dip in the kitchen sink to warm up. We will all be sad when she is too big.

-Have a snack and pack up to go to little grammas.

-Talk my mom into sewing a buttonhole for me on a sweater that I mutilated in a fit of rage.

It had these stupid granny tie thingys and I cut them off one day without thinking. OOPS. Then realized that I wanted it to stay closed somehow. Decided on a button. I bought several yesterday and today I brought them over to ask my mom's ever-stylish opinion. Seriously, the woman has style. We decided on the bean shaped wood one. Very cute.

-Watch my mom demo how cool her new sewing machine is. It threads the needle for you! It even cuts the ends when it's done! Crazy shit. So a few taps with a stylus on the screen and voila! a buttonhole!

-Grammy finishes up dinner. Grampy measure kids on inside of closet door. Chance has grown almost an inch in 4 months! I blog about my list. It's been 6 months since I made it. Olivia request The Wizard of Oz. I think this is inspired by our happy meal toys from yesterday.

-Kelsey's mom stops by for dinner and a visit.

- Dinner! (Crapo) baked potatoes and all the junk to go on them. I put chili, cheese sauce and onions on mine. I think I may have sprinkled a little bacon too. Hehe.

-Two people from my mom's church stop by. Of course she invites them to eat. Of course she has enough. Style and hospitality. Marvel at how effortless looking she makes it. Maybe it is effortless for her?

-Kids finish watching Wizard Of Oz.

-"Sarah, does Olivia have pink eye?"

"No, she's just tired."

"Sarah!! Olivia has pink eye"

-Everyone who poked at her eye to confirm the pink eye diagnosis washes their hands and talks about how strange that it's taken this long to develop. Jamie's has been cleared up for days.

-Make a mental note to call the school and Buffy in the morning.

-Pack up to head home for bed time.

-PB pretzels for snack. A Curious George story and sleepy time.

-And here we are!

Going to sleep now!